home is not just a place
This past weekend marked ten years since we started building our home in Saskatoon. 🏡
It got me thinking. Has the length of time or reasons people stay in one home changed recently?
A study by the Canadian Association of Accredited Mortgage Professionals estimates the average Canadian will own 4.5 to 5.5 homes in their lifetime. I am not sure what a half house looks like myself 🤷🏻♀️ (Any Mortgage brokers want to enlighten me??)
Let's say you buy your first property at age 25 and stop buying at 65; that translates into making a move roughly every seven years.
Do you fit this average?
There are endless reasons for WHY we move.
You need additional space for a growing family.
You want to be closer to a new school.
You are downsizing.
You are upgrading.
You are moving for a new job.
You are in a relationship and want to combine households.
You want to move closer to family.
You want something new.
What I often wonder is this - what is the deeper driver for the change? Is there more at play behind the decision beyond the apparent explanation?
The simple answer is yes; there is always more at play in our decisions. We make decisions in the context of our lives. Maybe they are conscious, perhaps unconscious, but they are there.
When I reflect, parts of our move were strictly conscious choices for our family.
It was time to move my office out of the basement (Hello, natural light!!)
We had found a school we loved for the kiddo.
We saw building in an existing neighbourhood as an opportunity to fit the lifestyle we wanted.
But there were also unconscious aspects. (And I am only speaking for myself here 😉)
One measure of success (as a Designer) meant living in a space of my creation.
Clients would trust me to create for them if they saw what we had built.
None of these unconscious or underlying reasons are wrong, per se. Things could get messy for folks if the reasoning for making a change is to avoid the complex parts of being human. Dealing with the emotion or meaning we have placed on our spaces.
Did I recognize my unconscious thought was a part of the driver of our home build at the time? No.
Does that mean I regret the choice we made to build? Not at all. This space supports the lives we want.
Could a person make decisions based entirely on unconscious drivers? Yes, absolutely.
Here are a few questions that may help you uncover any underlying drivers in your decision-making process.
Am I making this move to feel a different emotion than what is present right now? How can I explore that feeling before making any long-term decision for a change?
Am I attaching a specific meaning to what this move means? Do I want to be seen differently by family and friends? What importance am I linking to this new space?
What is the outcome I desire? When the move is complete, will I have achieved my expectations? Do those expectations seem reasonable?
No matter where you go, there you are.
People inhabit two distinct spaces simultaneously - the physical and emotional worlds. Our physical areas and emotional well-being are directly connected. It’s a connection we can’t always see or even understand. The link isn’t visible; it’s felt. Physical spaces affect our decisions, behaviour and, ultimately, how we think of ourselves on both a conscious and subconscious level. Taking the time to explore both your physical needs and your emotional needs will deliver a better result.
After all, home is not just a place; it's a feeling.
xoxo,